Animals FACE OFF!!!

This is kinda insane but I have been interested in pitching various animals against each other just to see which one wins.

Like wouldn't you want to know who would win in a match between and crocodile and a shark, or a grizzly and a siberian tiger or a hippo against a lion.

Anyways after months of time pass googling and reading from several sources- I can say I am pretty well informed in this depatrment. So starting from today I am going to pitch one animal against the other and tell you how it is going to go.

Who knows may be we can make it a knock out tournament to see which animal is the best fighter.

Special thanks to Umar who helped me a lot with my research on the craazy nights in Trivandrum.

First off

Croc Vs the Hippo

Crocodiles

The salt-water crocs in Australia grow to a length of 21 ft and weigh an astonishing 1200 kgs. They have one of the most powerful bites in the animal kingdom. The hide is very very thick and the tail packs a powerful whack for those who think they can attack it from behind.

The can swim upto speeds of 25 kmph, but need to come to the surface to breathe.

Hippos

They are one of the most dangerous animals in the whole of Africa(lions included). They weigh about 1800-2000 kgs. They are very aggressive and extremely territorial. And they kill a lot of humans. Only that this happens in africa so its not a big deal.

The Battle-field: a swampy slow moving river with a bank for the loser to run for safety.

Result(Extremely surprising): The Hippo wins 10/10 times. The croc stands no chance. The hippos jaw will snap the croc in half and before he knows it he'l be a suitcase and a pair of boots.

If you don believe me check this out.

My ride to whitefield, Jugaad and why India is growing despite itself

Every day I ride to whitefield, and yes its very very tiring. But what choice do I have. Going by bus is not an option- it takes double the time and is extremely boring. So riding is the best option. But it still takes an hour.

But after going riding for about 2 weeks I started finding ways to make my journey shorter. I go through gullies, riding on the footpath on some occasions and occasionally during extreme jams. I also squeeze between cars and change lanes to make maximum use of the little pockets of free road.

Contrary to being indisciplined, I think it makes sense that some of us do this. It reduces the load on the already clogged road. When a few people do this, it reduces the jams and makes maximum use of the resources. Occasionally the odd amateur creates a bigger jam. But thats just a learning experience. Soon he finds ways to get home faster without delaying himself or others. I know this is not the ideal thing to do. But I am not riding on ideal roads.

I guess this applies to India as well. The resources are never adequate. So people start finding shortcuts to work around that and the system. Making most use of our precious resources is what has kept us growing.

India cannot be compared to the west were resources are in abundance. Here people need to be more innovative, creative and have to really think out of the box. And this happens at the lowest levels- from rural India to small traders and businesses.

Now back to whitefield, if everybody maintained a minimum of 2 feet distance between the vehicle in front of you- the jam would look orderly but would be a mile long.

So before you comment saying "See the west. Everything is so orderly"... remember at some level it is our disorderliness which is helping us grow- and right now at a tremendous pace.

I would also like to share this post which I read recently

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/opinion/columnists/swaminathan-s-a-aiyar/Jugaad-is-our-most-precious-resource/articleshow/6313513.cms

Best Dosa of Bengaluru!!!

I wanted to create a post about all the best dosa in namma Bengaluru. So here goes!!

Masala dosa-----> CTR.

Tried Vidyarthi Bhavan( was the undisputed winner till eating at CTR and Vidyarthi Bhavan on consecutive days proved it that CTR was by faaaar the better place for masala dosas). Though for the whole Dosa experience a lot more places come to mind.

Sid and I had an argument/discussion and these were our finalists

• CTR
• Vidyarthi Bhavan
• Dwaraka
• Janardhan
• Janatha hotel
• India Coffee house, Queen's road
• South Indies
• Dakshin
• Adigas
• Komala, Frazer town
• Empire, Church street (Dosa paneer butter masala combo)
• Pecos, Rest house road (Dosa and veg/chicken curry combo)
• New Krishna Bhavan, Balakpet
• Malabar, Balakpet
• MTR
• Jayanagar Dosa camp
• Food street, Sajjan Rao circle

If anybody has any other place to mention in the list, feel free to comment.

Also your mom's dosa doesn't count cuz I meant commercial joints.

The plan is to go eat a dosa at each place on separate days and rate the complete dosa experience. Who is in?

Things I do which I can't explain myself

I am a paranoid about symmetry. Especially with my feet and hands.

With my hands it is along the X,Y and Z axes. If I make an action with my hand where in my hand pointing along an imaginary X axes, I HAVE TO make the same action along the Y and Z axes relative to the X axis.

With my feet(which is limited in movement compared to my hands) the symmetry is with respect to 45degrees axis on the X-Y plane.

If i go to sleep on one side, and if I do wake up, i turn over to maintain symmetry.

I remember phone numbers by thinking of deep, intricate links between the numbers and positions of the numbers- with the logic mostly involving prime numbers.

I multiply numbers using the overs concept. Let me explain. If you ask me 42*7, in my mind it is 42 overs is 252 balls + 42 runs for runrate of 7, so 294.

I usually change the gear of my bike when the Tacho meter needle and the speedometer needle is almost parallel.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEPSI'S ADVERTISING

I love ads. Creative, well made ads are a treat and are very enjoyable. It is when the ads are stupid, and you are forced watch them in between every over, it makes you start hating the damn product/company.

Remember Pepsi's ads during the 1996 cricket world cup. The whole "nothing official about it" theme, the "More cricket, more Pepsi" theme in retaliation to Coke's "Eat cricket, sleep cricket, drink only Coco-Cola" ads. The rivalry between coke and Pepsi ads on the national and the global scene was legendary. Remember the kite flying between Sachin and Amitabh in the Pepsi ads.

Those ads very nice.

Pepsi always had a good campaign, unlike Hero Honda who I think has the worst ad campaign ever. I hate Hero Honda's ads so much that now I has even affected my liking for the company.

In justification to my hatred for Hero Honda, please please watch this ad.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpX7f-afqHw .....This one of the worst ads I have ever seen.

Back to Pepsi, Pepsi roped in Ranbhir, and coke roped in Imran. Both are young upcoming actors. Both the ads are wired during the IPL matches. I like the Imran ad where he is in a bus drinking coke from an invisible bottle. Not an awesome ad but I like it.

But the Pepsi ad, where some weird dude in a weirder voice says "Drink Pepsi now" and Ranbhir says yes and drinks it. Then there is some seriously irritating background music which goes like "Naa naa na na na Youngisthan ka Wow" with an even more irritating Ranbhir displaying a stupid toothy smile.

I used to like Ranbhir before the ad, now I find him irritating. And personally, the ad spoils my IPL.

This is my list of the most Pissing off ads during this IPL

• The Akshaye Kumar's stupid laughing Videocon mobile ad.
• The Havell's ad where people look up to pray and then there is a stupid fan which wont let you down.
• The Spice ad where the kids say in classroom talking about some bua in UK - How is it even related to Spice.
• The "Youngisthan ka Wow" Pepsi ad.
• The JK cement ad where a girl in a bikini walks out of the water and they say JK cement. (this ad is not aired much during IPL but it had to be on this list)
• All the Hero Honda ads......EVER.

The ads which I like are

• The coke ad with Imran.
• The Docomo ads are nice.
• The Airtel ads with Sharman Joshi.
• The Sprite ads...all of them.
• The Nokia-KKR become a coach ad
• And the best of them all- for the creativity,for how well it is made, and for creating that anticipation for the ads among the viewers- THE HUTCH ZOZO CAMPAIGN.

So Pepsi please change your ad, Hero Honda.. PLEASE STOP ADVERTISING

MAJGE.......priceless

I remember last year around feb, I was working at Rida, no job security, things were going baad, was financially in an unenviable situation. Things were not going good on several fronts, pressure from home about why TCS hadn't called yet. I used to go the Sri Vinayaka Bakery and drink majge - it used to cost rs 4 then. There were several occasions when I did not have cash to pay for my majge. I had an account there, so I used to tell aunty "Ivaga dudd illa..naale".

Things changed. I left Bangalore, went to Trivandrum, then Hyderabad. Whenever I came to Bangalore I made sure I visited that shop whenever I was passing that way. Aunty always remembered me and asked me how I was.

I got a transfer to Bangalore. My office is very close to Rida now. Today I was passing by that shop and I decided to stop for majge. From being totally broke, no security and depressed and low on confidence to being atleast a little financially stable, with job security, a happier and a more confident person....a lot has changed in one year. But sitting on the roadside and drinking the same magje was awesome..After drinking my majge I opened my wallet only to find a Rs500 note. So I had to tell aunty "Change illa aunty, next time".

It was like the master card add where everybody is fighting for the bill.

A majge at aunty's 5rs....saying "Ivagilla aunty naale kodthini"..PRICELES

my Resolutions for 2010

These are my resolutions for 2010. I am putting them up here and uploading the link on Facebook as I want to make it as public as possible. So if anybody sees me lax regarding these, you can point it out to me. If anybody catches me lax more than 3 times regarding any one of the resolutions below- a treat in corner house is awaiting.

So here goes

• I am going to exercise for an hour a minimum of 3 days a week.
• I am going to be more involved at home and spend more time wid my grandparents(this one is for you maa).
• I will get more organized and disciplined and keep up my time.( this is for you paa).
• I personally feel I can talk better, so I am going to work on that.
• I am going to read a minimum of 3 books a month.
• There will be a minimum of 2 posts per week on my blog.
• Improve mind control.
• Will work on being in a calmer state of mind.
• Take better care of my health, so no more chocolates at adda :(
• I will save up atleast 50% of my salary(again this one is for my dad).
• I WILL CONTINUE TO REMAIN AWESOME ;)

Constraint:Points can be added on to these but they cannot removed from these.

Additions: I vow to be positive, more efficient and think big in all my actions.

Pyaar Impossible

The fact that you try to mix up a romantic comedy with data theft and an irritating kid is not what f***s it up. What does is the fact that Uday Chopra has decided not only to act but also produce and write the story and asks his even bigger flop friend Jugal Hansraj to direct it.

Since the stupidity quotient in the movie is sooo huge I have decided to classify them into major and minor.

MINOR stuff

• Priyanka Chopra is the PR head and Marketing head of her company, and she plays a major role in all deals related to products struck by the company.
• She goes to these meetings dressed like she's on the beach in Hawaii.
• Though she studies in some shitty university, got pregnant at 18, been a single mom since then - she's managed to become the Marketing head of a company at the age of 25.
• Mr Dimwit Uday creates a brilliant operating system which is stolen by Dino Morea in 2mins by Copy-Paste method.
• The deal is struck by PR head Priyanka and the software is immediately deployed.
• Priyanka's daughter is 6, yet has more gyaan to give than a 40 yr old.
• Uday Chopra prevents Dino Morea from showing the software by putting a user account password.
• The only person stupider than Uday Chopra's character Abhay Sharma is Uday Chopra himself.

MAJOR stuff

• Uday Chopra took money from his dad to produce a movie.
• Uday Chopra took money from his dad to produce a movie with his own story.
• Uday Chopra took money from his dad to produce a movie with his own story and decided to act in it.
• Uday Chopra took money from his dad to produce a movie with his own story and decided to act in it and ask his even bigger flop friend Jugal to direct it.

VERDICT: Watching this movie even for sexy Priyanka is not worth it.