My fav Barney theory

Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard he died. They’d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and they’d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude’d be like “Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…” And he’s not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it’s SUNDAY, so everyone’s in church already, and they’re all in there like “Oh no, Jesus is DEAD”, and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin’ up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five. That’s why we wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait…. True story.

The Relationship Bank

We can compare relationships to banking accounts.
Everytime you do something nice for the other, your crediting onto your account.The arguments and fights and misunderstandings debit from your relationshp account. Now there are things that you do, like the big things such as travelling together or spending the entire day together, these are big amounts that are credited. But they are few and far apart( Cuz doing them regularly is going to debit a lot from your actual account). My advice is to not rely on these big transactions. They're bonuses. For eg going on a trip or an expensive dinner to make up for fights doesnt make sense. But there are small things you can credit into your account on an everyday basis which on the long run adds a lot to the Relationship account( henceforth referred to as RA). They are things such as calling during to work just to tell the other person that they're on your mind, or telling them how much you appreciate what they did or telling each other what happened all day just before you sleep etc..These things ensure you have enough balance in your RA during the tough times. i.e your relationship is deep enough for both of you to fight through the tough times.
Now there are 2 ways most relationships handle their accounts.Like all accounts, the RA needs to keep growing. Remaining stagnant is not an option.

• Some draw big, deposit big. These couples have crazy fights and the lows are extremely low.But similarly the highs are extremely high. Such relationships are lot more volatile and more exciting.
• Some draw small, deposit small. Now these relationships are a lot more stable but not that exciting. The highs are just not high enough.

My relationship is more of the first sort. But over time we've noticed that we're spending too much from the RA and even though we're depositing quite a bit, the balance is not increasing much. So gradually a cost cutting phase has occured where we are trying to reduce the big withdrawals. To a large extent constantly keeping your mind on cost cutting makes you spend less. Here even maturity which I think has come over a 8-9 months of long distance has helped a lot.

Now investments. As the saying goes never live beyond your means, Never plan an investment (could be anything from meeting each others parents to planning marriage to having a common bank account to moving in togther) where you don't have the means to pay it through. So unless you have a sufficient balance, the investment is never safe.The investment differs from person to person. For some meeting the parent may not be such a big deal, where as for some it is a significant thing.

Locking of Investments. Sometimes some couples have invested so much in the relationship that though they know it is not going in the right direction, the are not able to disinvest. It is like being the relationship because you know no other way. Comparing this to the US credit crunch, when too many people have their money locked in investments they cant come out of easily, it reduces the liquidity in the market. Here it might be the number of eligible girls who you can start an RA with but she's locked in a dead investment :p

Also the return of investment . You dont invest something where you dont get good returns. Here the returns are stability, somebody to depend on with whom both of you can grow and help each other reach their max. Many couples forget this fact that the relationship should not be a liability but a bonus.

I am no relationship expert but I think if you look at relationships on the long run with these parameters, you will be able to get more out of your RA .

My Shared Auto

Aerial view of a Shared Auto

I travel everyday to work in a shared auto. The concept of a shared auto is something like a extremely scaled down version of a bus. The share auto guys go from one point to another along a popular path. They have regular pickup/drop off points enroute.

I start of near Ameerpet where the Share auto starts. Since it is the starting point, the autos are usually empty. The auto drivers wait till the auto is 75% filled i.e about 6 customers before leaving the place. So usually when I get into my auto I am made to wait a good 15mins before it actually leaves. He keeps moving the auto in random directions around a particular point(usually a bus stop) making a mess of the traffic and irritating the hell out of the bus driver.

Now this is a normal auto seen in most cities. But how people sit inside is a little different. In the rear- where normally 3 medium sized men can squeeze in- about 4 people are made to sit. Usually plump ladies with huge bags of vegetables or wailing kids on their laps. Sitting here is a luxury. The priority order goes like this - First ladies, then old men, then huge men, then middle aged men. So the smaller built young men like are usually made to sit in front next to the auto driver.Now in front there is a single seat with extended flaps on either side. The auto driver sits at the front edge of his seat. 2 men sit on either side of the driver. 2 more men are made to sit bside them. Usually the unlucky ones like me get this priveleged Corner. The area covered by my posterior will probably be about 5sq cm. I have to hold onto my bag in one hand and to my life in another. It is advisable to turn your neck at an uncomfortably weird angle to avoid the smelly armpit of the person just next to you.

This ride coupled with really horrible dichik dichik Telugu music costs me just Rs 15 :)

Is our Media ruining us???

Recently I came across this article http://www.bombaybar.com/in_joco_veritas/faucets_of_media_lore.php#more (really hilarious) and then when i got back home later in the evening (yes that means I blog and surf from work :P) I saw some channel having a major heated discussion about something so insignificant that I don't even remember what it was. Got me thinking.. There are many really stupid things that the media reports and blows out of proportion so much that I think it actually affects the intellect of people. The things which should be reported are never given much importance. Things like Renuka Chowdary or somebody else mailing pink chaddis to Mutalik got such prime time importance, it actually makes me wonder- are we force fed all this by the media or is the media dishing it out only cuz we're waiting to buy it. Either ways something is wrong. There are discussions about valentine day cards and MMS clips and the fact that SRK was not invited to Abhishek's wedding. When are we going to grow up?

Also another point I want to make here. Somedays back I read an article about how some start up was providing cold storage during transportation of vegetables and thus helping farmers gain more out of their crop. Quite frankly that inspired me. I wanted to do something innovative and help my country after reading that. We need stuff like that which make people proud to be Indian, which inspires them to do something new, something innovative, something for the country even if it just makes somebody just help an old man cross the road.. it is worth it. Day in and day out reading things like there was a robbery or some flyover is delayed- I agree we need to know all that- but on the main page we need stuff which inspires us, not saps us of our energy to go do something spectacular..Reading such negative things actually starts affecting the psyche of the people. Soon they just go "The construction is delayed by 6months..whts new" or "road jams..just have to get used to it".
I strongly feel the media needs to be regulated and instead of just hyping unnecessary things which dont really help anybody, it should work with the intent of changing our country, inspiring us to do better, enducing patriotism among us, make us just wake us everyday- read the newspaper or watch the news- fill us with pride and just make us go out there and do our best because our country deserves the best from us.

Honeymoon Phase Termination

In life, experiences are a lot like Indian marriages.. Your relationship could be that experience, it could be your experience in a new place or with a new technology at work.. so you get the point..but it is more apt for relationships
I have a good friend. Since he is an important part of my life, and might be mentioned in my further posts, he shall henceforth be referred to as ‘Sanakla’ .
So sanakla gets to know a girl (sanakli). This is the Introduction phase.
After this is the courtship phase. During the courtship phase sanakla impresses the sanakli and sanakli gets familiar with him. There the dropping of defences . Though people are highly opinionated, they start changing their opinions proactively during this phase.
After this is the honeymoon phase. During this phase people are blind in their judgements and they start seeing things through rose coloured glasses. Everything is awesome in this phase. The things people find cute in this phase are usually the things people find irritating later on.
Now please note… people can exit the equation at any moment in any phase. So what happens during exits.
For an exit to be called successful there are 2 critical requirements- timing and synchronization.
Synchronization as in the exit should be discussed by the parties involved and a suitable exit strategy can be developed. Else one partner could end up stranded.
Timing as in during which moment in which phase does the exit occur.
Now unfortunately for my friend Sanakla, he got caught on the wrong side of both the critical requirements. The sanakli exited at the Honeymoon phase with Sanakla still deep in the honeymoon phase which displays total lack of synchronization. Since this occurred during the honeymoon phase, our poor sanakla has only rosy memories of cute incidents. Things normally rated as 8-9/10 are amplified in the mind and rated 19-21/10. Since he never reached the Reality phase, he has not had the reality check which tells him 8-9 though good on its own is not a 19-21. Now whenever he meets a new girl, it is a comparison with a 21 which is pretty hard for the new girl to live up to.
So the solution for this problem is another Honeymoon phase with a proper reality check after that. But to get to a new honeymoon phase he needs to come out of this one first…. Which makes the problem recursive for poor sanakla :(

Primary Secondary and Tertiary

People, with respect to social interactions can be broadly classified as either Primary, Secondary or Tertiary.
Primaries.. are those who have fun irrespective of the type of group they are in. They are the fun part of the group, so the fun goes with them. They are bubbly, excitable, energetic and sometimes hyper.
Secondaries ..are those people who need to have primaries to have fun. But when in the company of a primary become energetic and bubbly and energized. Though they can also be sober and quiet when in company of non-primary people.
Then comes the Tertiaries.. these guys are sober all the time, irrespective of the group they are with or the people they are with.. you can pretty much be sure that they won’t be too involved in the wild side nor will they be a source of any fun.
The primary can’t understand why the tertiary is soo tertiary compared to his own energetic self. He doesn’t mind the secondary as the secondary becomes Primary in company of a Primary. But the primary needs tertiaries around him to satisfy his bloated ego. The primary needs to be source of fun and the cynosure of the group .If there is more than one primary and the chemistry between them not good, things can get fiercely competitive and it rarely ends up with 2 primaries bonding, rather the lesser primary ends up sulking.
The Tertiaries cant hang out with themselves as they find each other boring. Nor can secondaries hang out by themselves or with tertiaries as they don’t know where to start.
So for a group of friends who hang out, the optimal combination is something like this
1-2 primaries(depending on the size of the group).
4-6 secondaries( they add to the fun with out the competitiveness of the primaries).
3-4 tertiaries( they add to the stability and sanity of the group. The group led by a wild primary and followed by the secondaries needs a sounding board).
So after reading this, What are you? Primary, Secondary or Tertiary?

KILLER APPLICATIONS THAT GOOGLE SHOULD COME UP WITH

• A much awaited “G Drive” where you can just drag and drop onto your Online Storage device. Pretty much like Microsoft’s Sky drive, only a lot cooler as it is by Google.



• An “OFFICE G” to replace MS office.



• A “MEDIA G” software which plays audio and video in all formats, searches for related media info and updates the files. For e.g.: it should be able to search for the subtitle track for movie file. Also with handheld music players becoming popular, MEDIA G also sorts the music and updates info such as genre, year, artist etc so that it’s easy to use on your “G POD”.
  
  
• A G POD.



• A "G MONEY” for people to manage their personal finances. This is pretty simple yet necessary. I don’t know why Google hasn’t done something about it yet.
  BUY FACEBOOK, not just delete Orkut but Shift Delete it.



• Google handsets to go with Android with limited ads on your mobile if you go in for the subsidized version of the phone.



• Finally a Google OS that’s awesome enough to make Microsoft and Apple go out of business.

My Thoughts after a sandwich

If you follow How I met your mother, you will know what I am talking. It is not like I love sandwiches. But I’m not exactly a sandwich virgin. I have noticed something very interesting though. It’s my thought process after eating a sandwich. It’s like the speed of my thoughts increase so fast that my brain is not able to link them effectively. Also there are several concurrent threads of thoughts which arise from the same thread but vary so much. This variation among the threads is so much that one more thread arises just to analyze these variations. The whole combinations of these threads get very confusing and my brain seems to be a ball of active and dormant threads.
Another interesting thing I have noticed is that most of the thoughts are recursive in nature. Like I experience all these threads and I am thinking of telling this to somebody (MBA usually..Sorry if most of you don’t understand. This post is more for just expressing myself ) then there is usually a thread which is me actually telling somebody and one thinking I am experiencing the previous thread. All these threads and their analysis makes the bed spin when I close my eyes and opening my eyes just gives rise to more inputs for threads to arise which is why - KIDS STAY AWAY FROM SANDWICHES.

JAI HO! and the Indian need for Western acceptance

About 3 yrs ago, I attended an AR Rahman concert in Bangalore, held at Palace grounds( in the centre of Bangalore). Not many people attended that concert though, and lucky for me, I was promoted from Rs 600 stand to the Rs 900 one. 3yrs and 2 Oscars later, there was another Rahman concert, this time in Shamshabad, 50kms from Hyderabad, and believe me you had to walk quite a bit. And there was such a huge crowd that the previous concert in Blore seemed like a small village fair.
Now any true Rahman fan will acknowledge that Slumdog Millionaire, though good is not among his best. Jai Ho is no where in the same league as Kehna hi kya, or a Roja or even E ajnabi.. But people who never really appreciated these songs now listen to them and say “wow Rahman is good” . We know that Rahman is good, that he’s awesome.. But what I need to know is why was an Oscar required to make some of us realize that.
I have noticed this quite a few times actually.. the Indian need for western acceptance. The waiters are more polite to the Gore memsaab than the lady with the sari at tourist spots—though this could be due to the extra income in dollars .
This need for acceptance and appreciation from outside stems from the underlying belief that they are better than us and we need to impress them. I think we need to have more pride in ourselves as a nation. I know everybody says they are proud to be Indian esp around mid August and end jan but I feel that is very superficial. The schools play a major role in shaping the future generation and should involve a lot more of our culture, heritage varied as it may be, inculcate more pride about being Indian among the kids. The parents too should play a major role towards this endeavor. Encourage kids to buy more Indian. Why pepsi when you have lime juice or majge? May be not in everything, but where ever we can, we should buy INDIAN when ever we have a choice.
So we become more independent, so that we don’t lose much foreign exchange, So that we don’t need an award from outside to tell us that our Rahman makes magic with music :)
Jai ho JAI HIND!!!